When I take a long time - I am slow
When my boss takes a long time - He is thorough
When I don't do it - I am lazy
When my boss does not do it - He is busy
When I do something without being told - I am trying to be smart
When my boss does the same - He takes the initiative
When I please my boss - I am apple polishing
When my boss please his boss - He is cooperating
When I make a mistake - "You're an idiot"
When my boss makes a mistake - he's only human
When I take a stand - I am being bull-headed
When my boss does it - He's being firm
When I overlooked a rule of ettiquette - I am being rude
When my boss skips a few rules - He's being original
When I am out of the office - I am wandering around
When my boss is out of the office - He's on business
When I have one too many drinks at a social - I am a drunken bum
When my boss does the same - he appreciated women
When I am on a day off sick - I am always sick
When my boss is a day off sick - He must be very ill
When I apply for leave - I must be going for an interview
When my boss applies for leave - It's because he's overworked
When I do good - My boss never remembers
When I do wrong - He never forgets
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